Sweet Sleep Dep
by MahoganyJinx
Summary: I like to write when I can't sleep. No real plot here, just fodder for those with my problems. sorta Garra centered, but not really. T rating for some language.
1. Chapter 1

=A/N: Couple of things. First off, I'm bored, somewhat sharing in my boyfriends insomnia, and have no plans as to this story past "write until you're sleepy." That's your potential crack/incoherence/author interference warning. Also, I'm away from home and my pc, so I'm writing on my phone. As such, I will be unable to format text, so the signifiers are as follows: -italic- =bold= ***abrupt change in scene #author interference#. If this turns out well #unlikely...# I'll clean it up from my pc later. Lastly, the sleepier i get, the less I will care about coherence, quality, and grammar, because, ultimately, this is for me, not you. Unreasonably long note aside, without further ado, I bring you...

The fucking disclaimer...

-Disclaimer: If I owned any of this, we wouldn't call it fanfiction, now, would we? So why is this necessary on every freaking chapter? Because assholes.-

Into the madness!=

As he stared at the window of Naruto's dirty apartment, Garra could see nothing but the dingy reflection of his own fire engine red hair. The reason for this was all but drowned out by a yowling in the kitchen that somewhat followed a tune that, thanks to Kankuro, Garra could identify as probably Taylor Swift. #ninjas fucking love Taylor Swift#

Usually, Garra loved the rain. Living in Suna, it was something of a rare treat. At the moment, however, he was about ready to pop a blood vessel in his effort not to throttle the blonde where he stood.

-Must be the lack of sleep lately.- he thought, earning a strange look from Naruto at the bitter chuckle that thought illicited.

"Not that I'm complaining, but could you have possibly picked a -weirder- night for a suprise slumber party?" Naruto called as his song ended, at last allowing Garra to hear the rain as it lashed against the window.

"I thought this is what friends do." Garra smirked, inclining his head that his friend should take up the open end of the couch.

Naruto declined, shaking his uncooked ramen in explanation. "Don't you have, like, a village that needs you or something?"

Garra sighed. "Its not fun."

Naruto stopped in his tracks, halfway through de-lidding his cup noodles. #its a word shut it# "Not... fun? You left Suna with no warning because its not fun?"

"Don't judge me."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"Am not!"

"You are."

"Prove it!"

"You spent half an hour hunting down the last shrimp cup when you have a cupboard full of pork and you stopped in the middle of opening it to judge me." Garra arched an eyebrow. An impressive feat, considering he had none.

Naruto, having no argument, set down his ramen and pounced over the couch, pinning Garra to the floor with a grin. #no yaoi yet chillax# Rather than caving to the playfulness, Garra stared sulkily up at his friend, daring him to pursue a spar.

Finally, Naruto sensed the problem. "Your overworked!" Garra could almost see the metaphoric light bulb. "I bet they keep you locked up in a cave full of paperwork like they do with Granny Tsunade. About twice a week she blows up and binge drinks and gets in a bar fight. Holy shit am I your binge drinking? Should I be throwing you a party or something?"

Garra, being pinned on his side with his friends bony ass on his hip, shifted to look him in the eye, a real smile ghosting at the corners of his mouth for the first time in weeks. "I suppose you are. I prefer the bar fight to the binge drinking though." With no further warning Garra wormed out of the blonde's grasp and somehow pinned him with his face in between the couch cushions. For all his flailing, Naruto couldn't regain an advantage. Reluctantly, he tapped out.

Garra released him, suprising them both with a genuine chuckle of appreciation. "So, party you say?"

"Lemme call Neji."

***

-I thought Kankuro was bad with his makeup, but he has nothing on that guys eyebrows.- Garra was fiddling with some infernal contraption that Naruto had locked his forfingers together with. No matter how much he tugged, it just seemed to get tighter. -I'll kill him for this.-

***

"Who's party is this anyway?" Ino looked around. It was Hinata's place, but there was just no way that would happen.

"Well, Garra's, I think." Hinata looked nothing short of uncomfortable in a striped purple and black strapless mini dress with fishnet thigh highs and combat boots that Ino had bought her two years ago. She had protested as vehemently as she could manage, claiming she'd never wear it. Then Naruto called. Ah, well.

"You think? Isn't this your house?" Ino looked sideways at her classmate, at the same time wondering if she ought to stop drinking since Chouji was starting to look downright -appetizing-.

"Uhm, Naruto asked me to host, as a favor..." In her current ensemble, it was extremely difficult to hide the fact that her blush covered her body well past her knees. Ino smirked slightly but said nothing.

"You know he owes you one, now." She remarked, offhand. Hinata actually swooned. Ino's laugh turned into a choke as Chouji came swaggering over to their corner.

***

"Another win." Sai emotionlessly wiped the chips off the table as Neji, glowering, shuffled the next hand of Texas Hold 'Em. "You boys ought to work on your poker faces."

"That does it!" The pint-sized, dark-haired new girl slammed back her chair and stomped comically from the table to find her boyfriend. Kiba watched her with an appreciative eye.

"Anyone know those two?" Shikamaru asked, rejoining the table just to get away from Naruto's incessant urgings to dance. A chourus of shrugs answered him as blinds hit table. "Whatever."

On her way home from buying ingriedients to cook dinner for one, Sakura's attention was drawn to pulsing base and disco lights. -A party at Hinata's?- she wondered. -How come I'm never invited?- #no one likes you#

***

"Beer, cards, and a radio." Kurenai dropped her bag on the table. "Why should the kids be the only ones having fun?"

Kakashi eyed the party bag wearily. "That's fun for you?" Gai spoke for him.

"Nothing wrong with relaxing." Asuma intoned peaceably.

"Thank you." Kurenai shot a glare at the other two. Kakashi sighed warily.

***

=A/N: It worked, I'm sleepy, go home now. If you made it this far your probably as bored as I was. This was fun though next time I can't sleep maybe I'll tack on?=


	2. Chapter 2

More Sleep Dep

=I noticed my asterisk dividers didn't seem to work, so this time lets try $$$$$=

=Disclaimer: Refer to Chapter One=

-At last!- Garra smiled triumphantly as his fingers popped loose of Naruto's infernal contraption. -Now to kill him.- The kazekage raised his head to find the first tentative sunbeams lighting a scene that looked like the aftermath of all the fun-aged shinobi of Konoha and friends waging war on a colony of Tazmanian Devils.

-What in the nine hells?- Garra began picking his way over the debris and bodies, looking for the orange and blonde blob that marked his best friend. His eyes widened as he spotted Sai and Neji, tattered and torn, underneath a half overturned poker table that had lodged against a wall. Not to far along the wall was an exploded floor lamp that seemed to have knocked out Kiba, who was clutching the blouse of a small, loud, black haired girl that Gaara had heard announcing in overly deep tones that shinigami could wipe the floor with ninja. Whatever a shinigami was...

Eventually he found Naruto, sprawled upside-down in a lawn chair with a purple blanket spread carefully over him. Grinning, Gaara took careful aim and flicked the finger torture device into the blonde's open mouth, causing him to jump awake. He slid onto his head, cursed loudly and then yelled as his knees slid onto his face and he toppled over, taking the lawn chair with him.

"The fuck man?!" Naruto jumped to his feet and aimed a wild, sleepy punch at the laughing redhead, who easily sidestepped.

"Thats for the ten hours I spent trapped in that ridiculous thing." Garra said sniffily. Naruto stopped dead, cheeks puffing up with suppressed laughter. "Don't you dare laugh." Garra's voice was deadly. Naruto rocked back and forth, turning red from effort. "Don't."

Suddenly, all the color drained from his face and the laughter completely died. "Garra, I have to leave Konoha. You have to hide me."

=Oh no! If you think a plot might be developing here, think again! This probably wont get better guys. So tired...=


	3. Chapter 3

"Naruto, settle down, whats going on?" Garra followed the whirlwind of blonde as he slung essentials into a bag. Not muched phased him, but the look of abject terror on the fox demons face sent chills running down his spine.

"We need to get away, i have to hide, if Neji sees me... I'll explain later." He finished packing and flew out the back door. They headed for the gate, taking every precaution to avoid being seen. they has almost made it when...

Kiba and aka-kiba... well naruto couldnt tell em apart, stood blocking the way, heavily damaged and grinning sadistically. "That was a hell of a stunt you pulled last night, narutard."

"Look, it was a joke. C'mon."  
"A joke? Yeah, it was funny. I about busted a gut." The kibas advanced menacingly.  
"Man, I was trying to liven it up.."  
"By assaulting my teammate?! By now Naruto had a Kiba to either side of him and was feeling a little claustrophobic.

"Wait, I didn't do SHIT to Shino!" Naruto protested. Kibas face splotched red.  
"Are you really THAT much of a moron?"  
"Look, im sorry if he got burned but i wouldn't go so far as to say I assaulted anyone..."  
"I'm talking about Hinata, dumbass."

Gaaras eyes widened a milimeter, the closest his freakishly hairless face could get to shock. Sure Naruto was to dense to see that the girl had feelings for him but certainly he wouldnt go so far as to actually take advantage...

"Hi-Hinata?" Naruto spluttered. "What do you mean I assaulted Hinata? What kind of sicko-" A swift gut punch silenced him. Gaara considered flinching, but decided to be a cucumber instead.  
"And whats even more fucked is, you don't remember."

"It was at that moment that Hinata ran up to the small group.  
"Naruto-kun, your still here."  
"Hinata, don't interfere." Kiba cracked his knuckles.  
"Oh, kiba, he was so high he hardly knew what was happening. Neji will be awake soon he has to leave. Here, I made you a rations bag." Hinata thrust a small bag at him, avoiding eye contact.  
"Hinata-"  
"Kiba, your being ridiculous, Shino needs you at the house." She shot him an uncharacteristically severe glare. Kiba quickly dropped his head as akamaru turned back into a puppy and the two left with thier tails between thier legs.

"You have to be far away when neji wakes up. You totally decimated his stash... where did you even get explosive powder?" Hinata was still blushing at the ground as she spoke.  
"Science project. Hinata-"  
"Naruto-kun, neji will be awake-"  
"I know, just... Kiba said I... assaulted you." Naruto said sheepishly, also blushing at the ground.  
"O-oh, th-that was n-nothing, really..." hinata turned an unearthly shade of red before continuing, stammerring so hard she was barely understandable. "Y-y-you m-might have, m-maybe s-sort of, k-k-kind of..."  
"What?"  
"...k-kissed m-me." Hinata swooned, and gaara caught her as her knees buckled.

Naruto turned stock still as all the blood drained from his face. He then turned several colors in succession. When he finally settled on a mottled purplish red, he began to splutter. "I'm sorry, hinata, i..."  
"Oh, no, don't apologize, It wasnt you.."  
"I'm sorry I don't remember."

"NA-RU-TOO!"  
"Neji's awake!" Hinata gasped. "You have to-"  
"One thing first." Naruto said, determination in his eyes. He grabbed hinatas shouldrs with both hands and kissed her firmly.  
"One for the road." He winked.

And with a nod to gaara, the two dissapeared, perhaps forever.

=still no plot, yes neji is a pothead, tune in later for naruto and gaaras adventures in candyland=


	4. Chapter 4

It had been two weeks since Naruto and Gaara had run away from the leaf village. Neither of them seemed to have a place in mind to run _-to-_ so they picked a direction and went as far as they could. As trips into the great unknown went, this had been a somwhat boring one.

Until now.

"Garra, are you seeing this too?"

"No." Naruto rubbed his eyes and tried to blink away the genjutsu, causing his friend to chuckle. "Yes, its there."

Naruto hit him. "Don't fuck with me like that, asshole!"

Garra just gave another chuckle and shook his head, staring out at the landscape before him. He had tried releasing the genjutsu already, which is how he knew that this was real deal.

He and Naruto stood at the edge of a white desert. In front of them was a mass of hills made of gum drops on which grew trees of what may have been sugar plums. On a whim, he tried to pick up the sand at his feet. When nothing happened, he bent and stuck his finger in, then tasted it.

"...powdered sugar." Could this get weirder? Of course, Naruto had to check.

"Holy shit. You know what this means?"

"Not remotely."

"FRENCH TOAST!" And with that Naruto started rummaging in his pack. Before Gaara could wonder what the hell the idiot was looking for, Naruto had Martha Stewart's kitchen, a loaf of texas toast, eggs, syrup, and an apron and hat.

"This'll just take a minute." Naruto hummed happily as he worked, and Gaara had a passing thought that Naruto was absolutly adorable as a chef. Then he remembered that he wasn't gay #that doesn't mean I won't write you that way...# and turned his attention to other, manly matters.

In precisely one minute, without quite knowing how, the kitchen and (unfortunately) the apron were gone and he was sitting at a small table looking at Naruto over a delicious steaming plate of French toast. Holding up a finger, Naruto bent down and grabbed two fisfuls of powdered sugar and threw them over the plate. "Bon apetite!"

Very full, the boys pressed into the crazy gumdrop territory. Other than the bizarre landscape, and the fact that all the trees weirdly reminded him of Kankuro, the morning was rather uneventful. That is, until they stood at the bottom of a very vibrant rainbow.

"Aren't you not supposed to be able to see a rainbow's end?" Gaara mused.

"Whatever." Naruto shrugged. "I've always wanted to touch a rainbow." He reached out his hand and...

"Naruto!" Gaara whipped out a stream of sand to catch the blond as he was whisked up into the rainbow, but Naruto was gone before he could blink, leaving Gaara standing alone, and very unsure of what to do.

=O.o this is weird even for me=


End file.
